Insulin Envy .. and Admiration

I'll admit to feeling a twinge sometimes, when I hear an insulin dependent type comment on eating something especially sweet or having bread and potatoes AND dessert for dinner, or otherwise exceeding the 20 carbs at a time limit I try to stick to. 100 or 150 carbs in a single meal? I just can't do that. I wish I had the ability to 'cover it' with insulin, and have that freedom of diet, or simply having a way to make those numbers go down instead of "don't eat it" and "wait it out" techniques I have access to.

Of course, insulin is not that easy. Sure, you can take insulin to cover what you eat, but it's not like you have a choice in it. And it's not like it's always predictable, or figuring out how much and when is straightforward. No insulin, and you're in bad territory. Too much insulin, same deal. I can't image waking up with the shakes of a low or struggling to get numbers down when you're dealing with a bad batch of insulin, or having to insert pump needles every few days.

I don't think I'd be willing to trade that uncertainty for the ability to counteract the effects of a big chunk of cheesecake. It's reading all those blog entries about the realities of being insulin dependent that keep me motivated to avoid progressing to that stage. My image of the insulin dependent lifestyle has changed from a simple 'lots of shots' idea to a complex, challenging system of checks and balances you can't take a break from.

It's amazing and admirable to me to know of all the people who make it work, and find the strength to deal with it every day.